Laboring Over Vacillating Enigmas

I was supposed to be posting something else, but I just finished this today so I said fuck it.
It's based on a true story.
Hope you like it.
Here you go...

Laboring Over Vacillating Enigmas

For weeks I tried my best 

To write down the way I feel about you.

I thought that this would be an easy endeavor

But at the conclusion of a series of embattlements

Of my pen with the paper

Every line

Was love. 

Because,

Love offers various experiences,

Leaving our voices exposed,

Looming over virtually everything.

Lasting. Omnipotent. Venerable. Essential.

Letting one visit earth,

Live on vulnerability’s edge,

Lean on virtues. Especially

Loyalty. Optimum velocity ensues.

Logic often vanishes eventually.

Limitations? Obliterated, violently. Emancipating

Lunacy. Obscuring vision. Enslaving

Lost onlookers. Victimizing everyone.

Lascivious. Ostentatious. Vivid. Eclectic.

Life ornamented via ecstasy.

Linked oppression. Voodoo entrapment.

Lush oasis. Visually enticing

Labyrinth. Overwhelmingly vast. Eclipsing

Leviathans. Organized vigor embodied.

Lava overflow. Vaporized expectations.

Loud, orchestral violin ensembles

Lead operatic voices. Effortlessly

Lacerating obstacles, viciously. Embers

Linger on visceral emotions.

Lift off. Voyage eagerly.

Levitate. Overcome. Vibrate. Explode…

Overtime

Sooooooo it's been a while since I've used this thing (A certain friend of mine could tell you down to the second how long it's been since my last post). So I decided to start back up since I have a little more free time after recently graduating and whatnot. Go Gators...

Right now I'm enjoying one of the most common benefits of being a graduate. Unemployment. So I decided to ease y'all back into this with a little poem called Overtime....




Overtime

It occurs to me that your heart, in its current, neglected state
May be in need of some special attention
And I know this will be a full time job, but if you don’t mind
I’d like to interview for the position.
I know you’re sick of broken promises and
Incompetence. And tired of tall tales.
So if you are starting to find your love is too blind
I wrote my resume in Braille.
Let me be your heart’s personal assistant.
I’ll always be there to answer the call
I’ll be your personal renaissance man
Sweetheart, I can do it all.
I can be the secretary to your secrets
Someone for you to confide in.
I know you have a wall built around your heart
But I’m the one you can invite in.
I can serve & protect your happiness
Let me police your pleasures.
I can be personal security to your serenity
Making sure you are fulfilled beyond measure
I can extinguish your insecurities.
Just let me be firefighter to your fears.
And the janitor to your sorrows
I’ll always be there to wipe away the tears.
And I’ll be a construction worker for your doubts
I’m willing to work to build up your trust
Because within the structure of any relationship
A strong foundation is a must.
Let me be chauffer to your sanity,
I want to be the man that just drives you crazy.
Appoint me executive of your ecstasy
And I promise to never become lazy.
I’ll be your emotional anesthesiologist
I promise to never cause you pain.
I can coach your self confidence
I’ve never been a player and I’m too old for games.
I’m here to serve your synapses.
Let me get you doped up on dopamine.
Feel free to overdose on the products I push
Because I only deal in hopes and dreams.
And if there’s anything about me
That may cause you any confusion,
I’ll be happy to be your art teacher
And help you draw the right conclusions.
And I can make your body sing like I’m a vocal coach
With endless encores when the song’s done.
Nice guys finish last because I’m trying to be a marathon runner,
Not a sprinter. I’m in it for the long run.
And your peace of mind is payment enough
Just let the work keep on piling.
As for benefits, I demand full dental.
That’s right, you just keep on smiling.
 And I don’t mind bringing my work home with me
Because working for you is so much fun.
I’ll work overtime to keep you happy.
Because that’s a job that is never done

The Dedication

I promised a friend I'd write something for her, and I keep my promises, so you could say this is "based on a true story" lol. Enjoy

I'm sure it comes as no surprise that there were no pictures of black muses. One time for the wardrobe malfunction though.

Ode To A Conspiracy

I have been on to the myth of her

So called “birth” right from the start.

See, she wasn't conceived, but rather contrived,

And sculpted. Her form is a work of art.

Her speech is more similar to song. There’s music

In everything she mentions when she speaks to you.

And I’m convinced that day and night are just a part

Of the conspiracy and it’s just her playing peek-a-boo.

Great poems, stories, and songs are written about her.

She incites joy, jubilation, and laughter

Hitler really had nothing against the Jews. He was

Just throwing a tantrum because he couldn’t have her.

The reality of his fruitless pursuit was enough

To finally drive him insane.

In the language that angels speak, the word

For beauty is simply her name.

Her outer layer has no hue,

But she isn’t transparent my any means.

Her complexion is rather a reflection

Of all your hopes and dreams.

But her secret weapon is her smile.

Whenever she flashes it she sparks a sensation

And it’s just another part of her plot

To infect all around her with elation.

Her existence is no mere coincidence. She was heaven sent.

So when you’re seeking inspiration in the night,

Look for her, because the best place to hide something

Is out in plain sight.

So it’s really no wonder that everyone else

Appears to remain so baffled and confused.

But I have uncovered the conspiracy. To me, 

She is no mystery, just the manifestation of a muse.

Technically it's Saturday. Hey, I forgot. Sue me

At First Sight

Just before your lips release your nerves,

As your eyes meet for the first time,

Your minds begin to collapse

And all of your thoughts align.

You are overcome by the pungent odor

Of possibilities of a life together

Consumed by the intense aroma

Of the faint whisper of forever.

Contemplating the composition of

Your first conversation taking place

Anticipating music in the moment

That your lips first embrace.

You feel the calm that results

From feelings of enticement.

As your entire body is relaxed

By intense feelings of excitement.

Tingling in your senses inform you

Of the fact, you hesitate to face it.

Resisting reality when really you

Want it so bad you can taste it.

Your brain begins to stutter

So you start to speak from your spirit

You have to listen to your heart, as it

Hollers high pitched forcing you to hear it.

And when the din of destiny becomes

More than you both can take

You both undress your inhibition

And allow your souls to mate.

Mind Fucking Poetry

This weeks featured poem is an oldie but a goody. So strap up & enjoy

Mentalcourse

I'd never try to play you.

My conversation has a purpose.
And my attraction to you

Goes much deeper than the surface.
I want to stimulate your mind,
Make you mentally orgasm.
There'll be plenty of time later
For leg cramps and back spasms.
And long before I have you
Screaming my name,
I see no shame at all

In requesting some brain.
Because by that I mean your thoughts
A different type of oral satisfaction.
All to appease my psychological
Yearning and attraction.

I’ll explore every crevice of
Every brain cell
Til I know everything bout you
Just as well
As I know myself.
Sucking every bit out of you
Til there’s nothing else

To be found or discovered.
Doing whatever it takes
Til everything is uncovered.
I want to expose all of your thoughts
And admire your intellect,
While exposing to you my never-ending
Respect.
Collecting all of your mental juices
With the strength of a vortex.
Digging deeper and deeper
Into your cerebral cortex.
Penetrating even
Your subconscious regions
Playing with your wit
As you stroke my genius.


Until we erupt in a stream of consciousness
As our thoughts flow.
And your innermost thoughts
Are all I know.
And vice versa. Then the
Process is done.
Two, once separate, entities
Now become one.

Poetry Night

After attending a poetry event earlier this evening I got the idea to post some poetry myself. I think this is something I want to start doing every Friday, or at least until I run out of material. Who knows maybe the pressure of a deadline will force me to stop procrastinating & transfer these ideas in my head to paper. So here is the first of hopefully many.

Direction

When our journey began

We started off as two souls

Together in one vessel

Traveling down the same road

With only one direction

Headed toward the same goal.

Everything seemed right

Until you left at the fork.

We went our separate ways

And got thrown off course.

The weather turned cold,

So everything went south,

But the words still felt wrong

The moment they left my mouth.

Signals got crossed.

That’s how we got off track.

Moving in my direction
Became taking a step back.
So now we can’t move forward.
Everything is downhill.
I thought the road was endless,
With you time stood still.
Now I want to push time back
In order to choose a new route,
Now that I’ve had time
To figure a few things out.
The world is upside down.
Everything is out of place.
Now love is a foreign concept,
An emotion from outer space.
I feel like I’ve lost my way.
My life has no progression.
You were once my compass,
But now I lack direction.

My Love Philosophy

Ok I admit I got a little carried away with this post. Anyone that knows me knows I could go on all day on this subject, but i managed to narrow it down to 6 points of emphasis. These are just my opinions based on my own experiences and the experiences of friends that often come to me for advice. If you disagree, feel free to comment.

So you’re wondering why you have such bad luck with love? Here’s a hint: GRAB A MIRROR. 9 times out of 10 you are sabotaging your own happiness. Too many people over think when it comes to relationships. Most people don’t even know what love is. Well, I can tell you what it’s not. Love is not a business transaction. Love is not a beauty pageant. Love is not what you see in movies or read in those freaky little romance books (Yeah I know the type of nasty shit you women read). And it definitely doesn’t happen at first sight. That would be lust you’re thinking of.

Love is not something that you do, it’s something that happens. The problem is, you are probably doing way too much. Most people can’t find love because they are the ones that keep getting in its way. Get out of the way and let it happen.



The Greatest Love Of All

Before you can really be successful in love, you have to be able to love yourself. We all have insecurities, some of us just allow our insecurities to consume us. Ladies: When your man says you look fine, don’t insist that you look fat. That shit is annoying. We all have our flaws. If you have someone willing to accept yours don’t fight it with skepticism. And don’t let your personal insecurities cause you to become suspicious and jealous of your man/woman. You being unhappy with yourself does not automatically mean the other person is as well. The bottom line is if you don’t like something about yourself, change it. Or accept that you can’t change it and move the hell on. If you can’t love you, why the hell should I?

Fuck Your Type

I hear a lot of people saying “He/she just isn’t my type”. Well I just want to take this time to say as clearly as I possibly can, FUCK YOUR SO CALLED “TYPE”. If you’ve been unsuccessful in love just ask yourself one question “How well have my past relationships turned out with my type?” Maybe your “type” is just not right for you. Maybe your “type” is just a bunch of bullshit. Maybe it’s time to stop looking for those you are most attracted to and find someone you are attracted to enough. Once you shed these silly notions of what your type is you might be able to focus on the things that actually matter in a relationship. You have to have a proper sense of priorities. While you’re spewing your “Men/women ain’t shit” nonsense, it’s actually your choice in men/women that ain’t shit. So fuck your type, and while you’re at it, fuck your list too. Learn from Chili ladies and gentlemen.

The Root Of Evil

Now I ain’t saying you’re a gold digger….Actually that’s exactly what I’m saying.

Some people base all of their relationship decisions on money and actually expect to make a real connection. If a man knows he got you because of money, he feels like he just bought you. Therefore, you are more like property to him than a spouse, and you will be treated a such. (I don’t mean to sound sexist, but this is primarily an issue I‘ve heard from women) Yes, money is an important issue in relationships. But wealth is not. Everyone wants wealth but no one wants to work for it.

If you’re making $50,000/yr, why exactly can you not date someone making less than $80,000/yr? How can you hold someone else to a higher standard than you do yourself? If you make $50,000, and your spouse makes $50,000, that’s $100,000/yr. What family can’t live comfortably on $100,000/yr? Shit, the Octomom could live on that. Even if you are making $60,000/yr and they are making $40,000 *Counts on fingers* Yep the sum is still the same. The problem is that people refuse to live within their means regardless of how much or little they have. How about worrying about staying out of debt and being stable first. If people actually had their priorities in order and managed what they do have properly they would be able to work their way up to the life they desire to have. Everyone wants to get rich quick though. The reality is most of you reading this will never even come close to being rich.

And I’m sick of hearing “Ms. Independent” talking about how she needs a man to support her. If you’re so independent, support yourself.

Get Over It

We have to learn to let the past remain just that. We all know the story. “I’ve been hurt too many times so I’ve put up these emotional walls” Well, while you’re worrying about letting people in, the walls you put up are only serving to make you a prisoner of your past. You can’t hold a man/woman responsible for what someone else did to you in the past. So you had some heart breaks. Get over it. You may have had a rough child hood. Get over it. Your dad wasn’t around or wasn’t the man you wanted him to be so now you’re a full time shone seeking the attention daddy never gave you? That’s sad and all, and I feel for you. But I’m still going to tell you to kick rocks if you smashed the homies. Women have done you wrong in the past so now you sleep with everything walking so u don’t get hurt. GTFOHWTBS! We’ve all had bad experiences at one time or another. Learn from it. Some relationships just aren’t meant to be. Just be glad that you were able to get out of the relationship and have another chance to get it right. Just don’t fuck it up.

Mathematics

What’s that you say? You only date guys with bodies like Terry Crews? I never would have guessed with that vicious muffin top you keep flashing me. Excuse me? You only date girls that look like they just walked off the runway? But you look like Flava Flav’s illegitimate down syndrome baby. The expectations or so called “standards” some people have baffle me. I mean don’t get me wrong, we all have preferences. We don’t all, however, have options. And when we do they aren’t usually as vast as some people make them seem. They're called your DREAM guy/girl for a reason. At some point you have to WAKE UP!


It really boils down to simple mathematics.

We’re all familiar with the 10 pt scale ranking attractiveness. Well the important thing is to know generally where you fall on that scale. You may rate yourself an 8. Others may rate you a 7 or 9. But generally you have a sense of where you stand. But if you think you’re a 9 and others see you as a 5 or 6, you are a tad bit delusional. There’s nothing wrong with having high self esteem but let’s keep it realistic. At best you can hope get someone a couple numbers above you based on other factors like personality, intellect, talent, sense of humor, or just personal preference, Guys, we all want the Stacy Dash’s of the world. But if you are a 6 you might need to aim a little lower. No, actually aim a lot lower. Women, I know you want Denzel or Trey Songz or whatever, but they have the pick of the litter & if you’re the runt you’re probably out of luck. Please don’t let Tiny fill your head with false hope. That goon/goblin hybrid is an exception. These happen rarely. She didn’t always look so horrible. Plus there’s a kid involved. Bottom line: Don’t expect lightning to strike you this time. If you’re a 7, what makes you too good for a 7? If you expect someone to accept you & look past your flaws, you have to be willing to do the same. It's not settling it's called a compromise. Or reality. Or just plain logic. If you’re a 6 and you don’t want another six, what makes you think a 10 is going to want to be with your 6? That just don’t add up.

Categorical imperative

Ok, this is the important part so try to keep up.

In Immanuel Kant’s system of morality, in order to ensure moral behavior one must "Act only according to that maxim whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law." So if your actions could not become the basis for a universal law of morality, you should not act in that manner. This is what he refers to as the Categorical Imperative. Based on this, the only morally just way to treat others is to treat them as means in themselves rather than merely a means to further ends.

Within the setting of a relationship, this prevents one’s acts from being corrupted by selfish motives. Most people get into relationships for selfish reasons. For some people it’s for sex. For others it’s because they’re lonely and looking for companionship. Some people just desire financial stability. In either case the other person is merely a means to achieving that particular end. Relationships, especially marriages, are hard to maintain when one or both partners feel like they are being used. But if each partner feels like they are themselves ends, they will be more willing to pursue each other’s alternative ends together, and will enjoy greater success in this pursuit.

In order to achieve different results in love, you have to actually do something different. You can’t keep doing what you’re doing expecting different results. It’s the classic definition of insanity. It’s simple, either make a change or start collecting cats now, because that may be all you have to look forward to. Yeah, I said it.